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How do candidate face the DSE result?

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The day of the announcement of the DSE result is coming. Meanwhile, it is telling the students that secondary school life has come to an end. With the new chapter in life, the process is full of unknowns. Let’s look at how to adjust our mindset with some tips below.

1.Understand more about your result
On the day when the results are released, thousands of thoughts may run through your mind when you are holding the results. “Need to study ASSO right away?” “Do I gain enough marks on applying for the ideal subjects?” Before releasing the results, you can preview the choices you will make with different scores and simulate the situation after you get the results that day. For example, use a chart to write down your ideal and least ideal scores, and compare them with your expected goals. Make backup plans. If you plan to continue your studies, you should think of several subjects that are interesting and suitable for you, so as not to be affected by the results on the day when the results are released, which will affect your mentality and then affect your ability to make decisions. At the same time, remember to prepare the documents required for the results day one or two days in advance so that you can face it calmly.

2.Objectively analyze your performance
We may only experience this critical moment of results release once in our lifetime. Students are wise to review the entire preparation process, affirm their dedication and efforts, and also recognize areas that need improvement. The score only reflects the ability to attend the examination, but your own efforts and mental adjustment during the process are the experiences that accompany your growth. Students can focus on whether profound things linger in their minds during the past few years of preparing for DSE. Those memories are also an important part of middle school life.

3.Find support and advice
Remember that you are not alone. If you have any doubts, you may wish to take the initiative to talk to your family, teachers, and friends and listen to their support. There will always be times when a person is in trouble. You might as well share your problems or troubles with others. Different ideas may emerge. This is also very important to adjust our mentality and formulate long-term plans.

4.Appreciate yourself
Finally, it is time to appreciate your efforts over the past few years in secondary school! Achievements are only one-sided performances. On the contrary, the entire middle school career experience is not only about studying but also the personal growth experiences. An ending represents another beginning. On the eve of the release of the results, let’s invite friends to play around, relax and relieve stress, and say farewell to secondary school life and welcome to a new beginning.

How’s parents accompany their children to wait for the DSE results?

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As the day for announcing the results draws closer, how can parents of the DSE candidates accompany their children to face the results? In addition to collecting information about further studies through different channels, it is more important to accompany their children and to face the moment together. Here are several tips for parents to consider:

1. Maintain a positive attitude: After studying hard and facing public exams, candidates will inevitably feel nervous and uneasy when the results are announced. Regardless of the outcome, parents should stay patient, remain optimistic and accompany their children.
2. Provide emotional support: Parents should be their children’s emotional support and let their children know that no matter what their grades are, parents will still support and love them unconditionally.
3. Respect children’s choices and feelings: Parents should respect their children’s feelings and decisions, and should try to avoid excessive discussions about children’s achievements and avoid putting pressure on them.
4. Provide guidance and suggestions: Parents can give their children some guidance and suggestions at an appropriate time so that they can make plans by themselves.
5. Avoid excessive interference: Parents should try to avoid excessive interference in their children’s thoughts and decisions. Parents can give their children space and provide them with timely support and resources.

Parents can show more empathy by trying to think from their children’s perspective, and try to consider their feelings and reactions. The most important thing is to let children understand that no matter what their grades are, parents will always be there to accompany them and support them. The release of results is just one of the stages in life. Avoid putting all your own expectations on your children, providing appropriate care and support is the most important.

Anxiety before DSE results release

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As the DSE results release date is approaching, have you ever felt nervous, worried, panicked, or frightened? Students are concerned about their test results and may feel anxious when thinking about their prospects, as the choices and changes they are going to encounter may significantly impact their future. If students can adequately understand and deal with their anxiety, it will help them maintain good well-being to face the coming new stages and challenges.

These feelings of anxiety may stem from students’ negative thoughts about open examinations and results. For example, students may catastrophize their exam results, worrying that they will not be able to get into the university if they fail to achieve the expected results, and their future will be ruined. Or they may keep thinking about the situation on the day of the HKDSE, feeling that they did not do well in the exam, blaming themselves for not performing well, and worrying that they will lose their qualifications to enter their favorite subjects. Some students may be unclear about their interests and skills, feel struggle to plan for their future paths, and are worried about unable to find a course and career that suits them. Our body will also appear differently under various anxious emotions. Symptoms include heart palpitations, difficult in breathing, tension headaches, frequent urination, stomach pain, abdominal pain, and insomnia. Long-term anxiety may worsen into anxiety disorders and depression.

It is not easy to coexist with anxiety. Students may feel highly anxious before results are released. So, what can we do to relieve these emotions? Students can refer to the following tips to deal with various worries and anxiety before the results are released:

1. Write down a plan in advance
Before the results are released, students should plan for further study pathways as early as possible and collect relevant information. Students can simulate various results and release situations in advance, such as scores higher or lower than expected, and then record corresponding options for further education and employment. When you have clear information and plans in hand, you can be mentally prepared to deal with it even if your results are not as expected, thus you can better manage the feeling of anxiety.

2. Take care of yourself
When you feel anxious, remind yourself that you have already planned everything. No matter how worry you are, it will not help. Therefore, students should arrange their schedule for adequate sleep and a proper diet instead of worrying. You can also focus on activities that you enjoy and temporarily stay away from anxiety to make yourself feel more comfortable.

3. Talk to someone you trust
Sometimes, when people express their worries to others, their anxiety can be relieved. Students can talk to trusted family members, friends or professionals about their stress and worries before the results are released, and also listen to the experience and opinions from other people.

DSE is one of the milestones in our lives, but it is not everything. Feeling anxious before the release of the results is a normal reaction. Having anxious feeling does not mean suffering from anxiety disorder. However, if the feeling of anxious has been present for a long time, is growing stronger, and seriously affects your daily life, remember to seek help from professionals around you.

Whats is Emotional blackmail?

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Emotional blackmail is a concept introduced by psychologist Susan Forward. It refers to using fear, obligation, and guilt to control others in intimate relationships such as in the workplace, parent-child relationships, marriage, romantic relationships, and friendships. Emotional blackmailer manipulates the victim into experiencing negative emotions such as frustration, guilt, and fear. The victim would feel trapped, low in self-worth, and thus unable to see the reality of the situation, leading to self-doubt and ultimately complying with the blackmailer’s demands.

There are six key characteristics of emotional blackmail:
1. Demand: The emotional blackmailer presents a clear request or demand to the victim.

2. Resistance: The victim feels uncomfortable or unable to accept the demand and attempts to refuse or resist it.

3. Pressure: In response to the victim’s resistance, the blackmailer further emphasizes their demand and adds pressure.

4. Threats: If the pressure does not lead to acceptance, the blackmailer uses the victim’s emotions to directly or indirectly threaten them into complying with their demand.

5. Compliance: To avoid the negative consequences the blackmailer threatens, the victim often gradually gives in and complies with their demands.

6. Repetition: Once the victim complies, this behavior can become a recurring pattern, creating a vicious cycle of emotional blackmail.

Tips for avoiding emotional blackmail:
When you suspect that you may be experiencing emotional blackmail, you can use the following SOS strategy to respond:

1. Stop: When engaging in emotional blackmail, it is important not to immediately respond to the blackmailer’s demands. Take a moment to pause and delay, giving yourself time and space to think. If necessary, you can leave the venue to avoid being influenced by the blackmailer’s emotional fluctuations.

2. Observe: Once you can stop and stay away from the pressure, try to observe the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Through reflection, observe the blackmailer’s intentions, demands, and methods, and be aware of your thoughts and feelings. For example, pay attention to the words or actions used by the blackmailer that make you feel afraid, guilty, or compelled to comply.

3. Strategize: After reflecting, you can develop strategies to respond to the blackmailer, and practice until you can clearly and firmly express your decisions to the blackmailer. Strategies such as non-defensive communication can present boundaries and avoid triggering the blackmailer’s emotions. For example, you could say, “I understand you’re angry, but when you treat me like this, I feel really hurt…”

Article: Should schools discuss the topic of suicide with students?

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In recent years, the issue of suicide among teenagers has been drawing public attention. People are concerning whether or not school should prevent students from having suicidal thoughts by education. There are opinions that bring up the topic of suicide will cause negative impact on students. Thus, some people think that reporting suicide cases should be eliminated to prevent teenagers from imitating.

So, should schools discuss the topic of suicide with their students? In fact, it is unnecessary to focus too much on the topic of suicide. Instead, putting more focus on the mental health condition of students is more crucial.

There are many different reasons behind each suicide case, but we should let students know that no matter what the reasons are, suicide is never an option to solve their problems. Also, teachers should pay attention to their conversations with students, do not romanticise any suicidal behaviour.

Paying attention to the mental health condition of students is essential. Teachers should be aware of their students’ emotional needs and provide timely assistance. Such as providing some stress relief methods and information about the emotional support hotlines. Facing emotional needs at an early stage can reduce the accumulation of negative emotions and hence avoid some extreme thoughts.

Teachers should be alert if they find students with the following conditions:

– Intention of self-injury;
– Unexplained cuts on their body;
– Depressions;
– Loss of appetite;
– Insomnia;
– Other anxiety symptoms.

Academic performance is important. At the same time, teachers should also pay attention to the mental health condition of students, encourage students to seek help if they are suffering from emotional problems. Detecting and facing mental problems earlier, more tragedies can be avoided.

The greater pressure from the the greater expectations?

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In Chinese society, parents always expect their children to become the “dragons and phoenixes” among all people of the same age . This represents the traditional family concept – parents wish for the success of their child. However, what is the definition of success? Being a student nowadays is often more stressful than in the past. After attending classes for a whole day, need to immediately go to the tutoring center for extra learning; After returning home, nervous parents immediately ask about their performance in extracurricular activities; In senior form, when the child still do not have any idea about the elective subjects they would like to take, parents may clamor to ask their kid to choose a subject that could link to a stable and successful career path.
Yet, will the expectations given by parents be different from their child’s actual preference, causing the expectations to become a kind of pressure or even a burden to the child? Facing all kinds of expectations from the surroundings, even superheroes need to take a breather! So how should we face parents’ high expectations and reduce our pressure? Here are some tips!

1. Learn to communicate with parents
The expectations of parents often come from their care and concern for their child. They hope for a better future for their child, thus might set certain standards subconsciously. With different social positions and point of views, parents may not fully understand what their child is thinking. Therefore, we can take the initiative to share our feelings with our parents, express our feelings of stress and anxiety. If you are worried about not being able to express your feelings accurately, you might as well express yourself in words or pictures. Through communicating with each other calmly, let your parents better understand your current situation and feelings, adjust their expectations appropriately.

2. Know yourself and plan your direction
Over-concerning parents’ thoughts and expectations may cause us to rely on their decisions to make our choices, and ignore our own abilities or interests. As a result, choosing an inappropriate path due to the expectations of others. As a student, you can try to objectively evaluate your capabilities, find your own strengths, then think about future direction. At the same time, it would be better to make the plan as detailed as you can. Make it concrete so that you can have clearer goals and work effectively. It allows your parents to see how your decisions are under careful consideration, and understand that you also have your own thoughts, so as to better relate to you.

3. Seek advice from others
Teachers, social workers, or classmates could be a great support when you share your concern with them. Try to listen to their pertinent opinions and suggestions, make a better balance between parents’ expectations and self-expectations. Remember you are not alone, let people around to share the burden together with you.

The differences between the expectations of parents and children are not terrible. The key lies in whether everyone can communicate and coordinate appropriately. Facing the expectations of others, it is important to adjust your mentality appropriately, find a suitable way to relax and express your emotions.

9 Foods That Bring Joy!

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9 Foods That Bring Joy!

Translated from https://npower.heho.com.tw/archives/273720

As the saying goes, “food is the heaven for the people.” No matter how bad the mood, having good food can uplift the spirits. Here are some foods that, when consumed, contribute to a happier state of mind. Consider these as a reference for maintaining a healthy and joyful diet!

  1. Whole Grains

Whole grains, rich in niacin, vitamin B6, and magnesium, aid in serotonin production. Insulin, a hormone that lowers blood sugar and promotes the synthesis of the happy hormone “serotonin,” is also a helper in this process.

  1. Nuts

Nuts are like a treasure trove of nutrients, containing amino acids that boost serotonin and vitamin E, an antioxidant that protects the cardiovascular system. Walnuts provide anti-inflammatory Omega-3, black sesame offers calcium for relaxation and stress relief, and pumpkin seeds add magnesium for a positive mood.

  1. Eggs

Eggs, an excellent source of protein, contain “tryptophan,” a precursor to serotonin synthesis, and “tyrosine,” a raw material for dopamine. Egg yolks are rich in nutrients such as vitamin A, D, E, and lecithin, providing a comprehensive nutritional package. Vitamin D, found in egg yolks, helps regulate serotonin balance, calming anxious emotions.

  1. Oily Fish

Fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, and sardines are not only serotonin-rich but also excellent sources of Omega-3 fatty acids, which fight inflammation and regulate blood lipids. Omega-3 is an essential component for nerve cells in the brain, and it’s recommended to consume fish at least twice a week.

  1. Soy Products

Soy and its derivatives are essential for protein intake. Foods like tofu, dried tofu, soybeans, soy milk, etc., provide tryptophan and tyrosine, adding to the sense of happiness and well-being. Traditional tofu and frozen tofu can also supplement calcium.

  1. Milk

Calcium is not only crucial for bones but also aids muscle relaxation and nerve stability. For those prone to anxiety and tension, a cup of warm milk is an excellent source of calcium. Milk is also rich in tryptophan and vitamin B group, promoting nervous system health.

  1. Spinach

Spinach is rich in magnesium, and vitamins B6 and folic acid contribute to maintaining the normal functioning of the nervous system. Magnesium intake can enhance serotonin and reduce the stress hormone “cortisol,” helping to alleviate restlessness and depression.

  1. Bananas

Bananas can make your mood “magnificent” due to their high magnesium content. Additionally, vitamin B group in bananas stabilizes nerves and reduces fatigue.

  1. Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate stabilizes emotions with serotonin, and cocoa polyphenols provide antioxidant benefits, promoting brain health. Theobromine in cocoa can elevate mood and has anti-depressive effects, while the high magnesium content contributes to the overall well-being. Opt for dark chocolate with a purity of 70% or more for effective blood sugar control.

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Nonviolent Communication

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Nonviolent Communication

Translated from Column Sharing, Positive Energy, Recruit |Date: 01/06/2020|

In daily life, we often witness tense communication where words are spoken but have little effect. In fact, situations may worsen, and emotions and relationships deteriorate further. In this issue, I’d like to introduce “Nonviolent Communication” (NVC) as a way to enhance relationships with others and oneself.
Nonviolent Communication, abbreviated as NVC, is a communication model founded by American psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg. Its purpose is to enhance interpersonal relationships, self-love, improve communication, reduce verbal violence, and alleviate bullying, ultimately easing self-inflicted pain. While some may find the term “violent communication” exaggerated and think they rarely use it, it actually refers to excessive criticism and judgment towards oneself or others, distorting communication and potentially causing harm. Misuse of violent communication often stems from unmet needs, leading to impulsive emotional outbursts and expressions falling into four categories:

Easily passing moral judgments, e.g., “You’re lazy all your life.”
Making comparisons, e.g., “Others finish the task in no time, and you’re still procrastinating.”
Avoiding responsibility, e.g., “The boss told me to do it; I can’t refuse.”
Imposing undue pressure, e.g., “You contribute little to household expenses, showing no filial piety.”

NVC involves four simple communication steps, emphasizing objectivity and honest acceptance of oneself and others. The four steps are to express your observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

Step One: Observation

When initiating communication, honestly state your observations of the other person’s behavior in a specific time and place, avoiding “judgments.” For example, instead of habitually saying, “You always miss the deadline!” you can say, “The last two reports you submitted were completed two days after the deadline.”

Step Two: Feeling

After expressing objective observations, honestly convey your own feelings, try to understand the other person’s feelings, and show empathy. For instance, “When we submit reports late to our superiors, I feel very anxious.” It’s essential to distinguish feelings as emotions, such as anxiety or sadness, whereas phrases like “I feel you’re wrong” may sound like opinions. Be cautious not to confuse the two!

Step Three: Need

Given that everyone has physiological, love, respect, and safety needs, after understanding each other’s feelings, try to articulate the “needs” behind those feelings, acknowledging mutual requirements. Instead of saying, “You’re so noisy; it annoys me!” which only expresses displeasure, NVC suggests saying, “When you speak loudly, I feel agitated. I need a quiet working environment.”

Step Four: Request

After observing, empathizing with feelings, and affirming needs, make clear requests. For example, express a desire for the other person to prioritize your needs, like submitting reports on time. Simultaneously, be open to fulfilling some of the other person’s needs, such as assisting in writing certain sections. It’s crucial to note that a request is not a command, and when expressing it, respect the other person’s choices.

Authored by Ms. Tsang Mei, Registered Social Worker, The Mental Health Association of Hong Kong

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Ways to promote mental well-being

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Ways to promote mental well-being：

  • Paying attention to physical health, ensuring adequate nutrition, maintaining regular exercise, getting sufficient rest, and eliminating unhealthy habits.
  • Maintaining a positive life perspective with concrete goals and aspirations.
  • Learning to accept both your own and others’ strengths and weaknesses, avoiding excessive criticism or jealousy.
  • Building strong interpersonal relationships, as well as mutual support, understanding, and listening among friends.
  • Communicating with family members to enhance mutual understanding.
  • Adapting to life’s challenges, cultivating interests, and preventing life from becoming dull.
  • Understanding the sources of stress first, and then seek solutions If life is filled with stress.

When you notice issues with your own or your family’s mental well-being, seek assistance from social workers, counselors, clinical psychologists, or psychiatrists.

Source: https://www.mhahk.org.hk/index.php/health/

 

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Female University Student Faces Social Anxiety, Prefers Solitude and Avoids Interactions

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Female University Student Faces Social Anxiety, Prefers Solitude and Avoids Interactions

Translated from Column Sharing, Decoding Mental Health, Hong Kong Economic Times |Date: 30/07/2019|

Ah Yee, 22 years old, has just entered her first year of university.Due to Ah Yee’s less-than-ideal academic performance in high school, she faced several twists and turns,including repeating a year and self-study, ultimately gaining admission to university.Ah Yee perceives herself as an “older student” due to her age compared to her first-year peers.

Being naturally introverted and reserved since childhood, Ah Yee also dealt with weight issues, being somewhat overweight and less agile in her movements since primary school. This made her a target for ridicule and exclusion by classmates, and even in the early years of high school, she lacked close friends. These experiences severely impacted Ah Yee’s self-esteem and confidence. Despite losing some weight now and having one or two friends, she still feels inadequate compared to others.

After entering university, Ah Yee developed a fear of interacting with classmates. In the early days of the new semester, she worried about being perceived as “strange” when in contact with other students. As a result, Ah Yee often wandered alone on campus and refrained from initiating conversations with anyone. During class discussions, her nervousness manifested as trembling hands, a blank mind, and the ability to respond only with simple sentences. These situations left Ah Yee feeling extremely embarrassed.

Gradually, Ah Yee began avoiding situations that required interaction with others. Each time a class involved discussions, she would use the excuse of “leaving the classroom” to skip it. Eventually, she stopped speaking to anyone during her daily commute to school. Feeling that the issue was becoming more severe and concerned about its impact on her academic performance, Ah Yee sought help from the student counseling center. It was then that she learned about her diagnosis of “social anxiety disorder.”

During counseling sessions, the counselor encouraged Ah Yee to appreciate herself more and rebuild her self-confidence. The counselor also advised her to evaluate her social situations with more positive and rational thoughts to reduce anxiety. Ah Yee was encouraged to gradually engage in short interactions with others, step by step, to regain her confidence. After a period of counseling, Ah Yee slowly gained the courage to communicate with her fellow students.

What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety disorder is an emotional condition characterized by persistent fear of social situations. Patients fear making mistakes or causing embarrassment in public, hindering them from engaging in normal social activities, severely impacting their confidence and daily lives. Psychological counseling and medication are commonly used methods to treat Social Anxiety Disorder.

In terms of psychological counseling, “Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy” can systematically help patients reduce their fear of social situations.
In medication treatment, serotonin and anti-anxiety medications have shown significant efficacy in treating social anxiety disorder.

Authored by Dr. Chiang Kuan Hiong, Registered Clinical Psychologist, The Mental Health Association of Hong Kong

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